Authentic chinese food ingredients
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HOW TO MURDER A CHINESE

HOW TO MURDER A CHINESE

  1. Make dishes called Chop-Suey and Foo Yung.
    Nobody eats "Chop-Suey" in China and the Chinese don't call their omelettes "Foo Yung".
  2. Use long, fancy words in your menu.
    We don't need elaborate words to lure diners.
  3. Put untrained farmers in the kitchen.
    All our chefs are classically trained.
  4. Have a menu as long as the Great Wall.
    We only need a concise list of the finest dishes.
  5. Treat Chinese food like Western food and divide it into three courses.
    We don't have starters per se as domesticity dictates that the cook should always eat with the family.
  6. Serve food as one big dish.
    It's not a myth that the Chinese are practised in the art of eating 12 to 14 courses.
  7. Serve food piled together.
    Serving food dish by dish is preferable to piling everything together, some foods don't really mix with others.
  8. Serve tepid, lukewarm food.
    Separate dishes also allow for food to be eaten hot. Being hot is an essential ingredient of eating Chinese food.
    We have a term for dishes hot from the stove: "The Wok Spirit".
  9. Serve rice on a plate.
    Rice should always be eaten from a bowl, either using chopsticks or a porcelain Chinese spoon.
  10. Use badly translated menus.
    There's no excuse for things like "Slippery Chicken in Mushroom Gruel" to appear on the menu!